We are about to head into a very busy time of the year. Often we get overwhelmed by the things we feel that we simply ‘have to do’. I hear phrases such as: “We have always done this so we have to do it again”, “My family/friend wants it that way so I’ll have to do it that way” or even “If I don’t participate then I will be out of the loop”. These are all examples of when we slip into the perspective that we are ‘victims of our circumstances’. Everything is ‘because of’ your circumstances or someone else. In this perspective you are more likely to lose your motivation and passion. From this place it is very difficult to grow and enrich your life.

This month I will highlight the power of standing in the perspective of “I Choose”. You choose the actions which you do or do not take. Also, you choose who you are being, your essence, in the process of living your life.

Your life has been created by a whole series of your choices. You have had successes as well as setbacks. The great news is that you can choose to direct your life in a new direction right here and right now. Whether you want to make big changes or some fine- tuning, standing in the place of choice is incredibly powerful and fulfilling!

Here are some of my Effective Strategies for making Choices which you can start using today!

Tap Into Your True Values

To make the most effective choices we need to be certain that our choices are honouring our true values. The link between values and fulfillment is so obvious that it is sometimes overlooked. This is about exploring what makes you tick: what is important and what is not. By tapping into and clarifying your values, you create guideposts that will guide you through the decision paths of your life. Challenging decisions become clearer when you ask yourself value based questions like: “Will this decision honour my values?” and “What values will I be honouring by choosing A or B?”

Too often we are trying to please others and to live up to their values system. This is where the “Should Do” overpowers the “Want to Do”. When a value is not being honoured, you will feel an internal tension or dissonance. Take a minute and ask yourself: “Is this choice something which I truly desire? Am I honouring my own values?”

Honouring our values is inherently fulfilling even when it is hard. For example, if spending quality time with your family is a high value for you, then you may experience some discomfort when you decline some offers for social activities. Please know that the discomfort will pass, and a sense of integrity and congruency with your values will remain.

Learn From Your Choices

Congratulate yourself and celebrate your good choices. Our choices provide us with great learning opportunities. When we stretch ourselves into more fulfilling lives, we create even more of these learning opportunities. We will learn what works / doesn’t work in our lives. It is often in our mistakes that we gain the richest learning. The great news is that we learn, grow, recover and get to continue making choices.

Articulate and Teach Your Choices

Everyday we are making many choices. In some cases, it serves your children and the people in your life if you articulate how and why you made your choices. Recently at a meeting at our school there was much discussion about what drinks would be allowed for the monthly pizza lunch. I chose to see this as an opportunity to teach my children about choices. Even though there is an option for more sugary drinks, we are choosing milk. As a family, we had a great discussion about our value of health and fitness and what choice supports this value. Instead of never having the discussion, I believe that we had a golden opportunity talk about our values and making choices.

Create Opportunities for Choices

Incorporate the word ‘choose’ into your everyday conversation. Model the behaviour by saying, “I choose” for big and small choices. For example, rather than saying, “I have to go to the gym” say “I choose a healthy lifestyle and exercise is a key part of it”. Encourage others by saying the words: “What do you choose?” Find ways to enable others to make choices. For example, for your teenager who is responsible to rake the leaves, don’t nag. Ask him “Since raking the leaves is your responsibility, will you be raking today or tomorrow? What will your choice be?”

Start this practice as early as possible and after a while, you will hear others say, “I choose…” or “My choice is…” on their own. One of the most lasting gifts you can give others is encouragement and guidance in making small decisions. This prepares them for the big choices they have to make in their lives.

“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.”
-- Robert F. Bennett

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ACT NOW! Take the first step toward a more enriched life!

I would like to give a heartfelt thanks to all of the people who choose to donate some of their time, resources, talents and energy to their communities.

This is to all of the volunteer Sports Coaches, Fundraisers, Girl Guide and Scout Leaders, School Council Reps, Community Service Reps, Church Volunteers, Caregivers of the elderly and so many more generous members of our communities.

Thank you for increasing the scope and richness of the programs. In many cases these programs could not exist without you. Everyday I witness the huge impact that you are having on the lives of our children, our teenagers, adults and the elderly. Thank you for the actions which you are taking as well as the example that you are setting for us. Recently in my Leadership program we were asked to provide testimonials on who our mentors have been - who really saw all of our gifts and encouraged us to go for our dreams. The vast majority of the submissions were about YOU.

Each of us has choices to make when we interact with our community volunteers. Will you be quick to criticize or will you show your appreciation and support? Will you obsess about the areas for improvement or will you express your thanks for all of the positive things? Will you model how to show respect and trust?

What impact do you choose to have?